..."close" encounters of the penal kind.

I went to my front door around 6:30 the other night to see how the "snowicane" was progressing (it wasn't), and while I was there I picked up my mail: CB2 catalog...insurance bill...junk mail...Inmate Mail from the PA Dept. of Corrections...junk mail for former...wait, what?

Yes, my friends - Inmate Mail. PA Department of Corrections.

I've hidden the name to protect the "guilty."

I immediately looked at the recipient's name thinking...well, lots of things, none politically correct, but mainly, "Why is this in my hands right now? Did I make a new friend that nobody told me about?" 

My eyes darted over to the "To" section of the envelope.  Nope. Not my name. Not the previous owner's (legal) name. Hmm.  Why do I have mail from a prison? In addition to being cursed, my house also attracts inmate mail? I hope that's not why the house was so cheap. (just. kidding.) 

I put it down intending to just "return to sender"...but only after I posted about it of course. So I picked it up again, and then I looked closely at the address...  Right house number - wrong street. Not intended for my house. :)

Naturally as I was putting this together I googled the inmate's name in case one of my neighbors was corresponding with a news-worthy criminal. Nothing came up. Unfortunately. (What? I google everyone.)

Now...do I just drop it back in the mail box as I had planned...OR do I go awkwardly drop it off around the corner at its intended destination?

...my first piece of "hate mail."

So apparently a complete stranger took enough offense to my last post to actually email me. Not just comment, mind you, email! Needless to say, this made my day.  (Although, I wish people would stop commenting everywhere BUT the comment section. Makes me look like I have no readers.)

Wow. Where do I begin? With point 1, 2, 3, or 4? Or the link to "the other side?"

None...I'll just say that it's a free country and if someone felt the need to get that off their chest, by all means, send away. That's the beauty of the social space that is the interwebs.  You can pretty much say whatever the hell you want...and if you can't take the criticism, then stick to writing in your diary. 

I'm going to continue to constructively channel my "anger" here.

...recipe fail.

I'm not a chef, but I think this recipe might be missing something important.

...my funny mom.

I have an unfinished follow-up to the wall paper post that I started on Sunday. My job is getting in the way of my blogging. *sigh*

In the meantime...yet another reason why my mother cracks me up. This is the tail end of a convesation my mom and I just had:

Mom: "Alright, I'll talk to you later. I have to go put out."
Me: "hee hee hee hee"
Mom: "I have to go re-stock. I can't say 'put out.'"
Me:  "hee hee hee hee"

This is almost as good as the time my grandmother announced to my mom and her friends that she got a hickey on her head.

...why my new house will not be home to children.

Aside from the fact that I just don't ever see myself reproducing (*shudder*), I apprently am not a baby-friendly person.

Exhibit A:
I tried to order woven blinds last night, and was told that I couldn't because the company wasn't taking orders due to a customer service issue relating to cord control and safety concerns. So owing to the fact that I didn't see any problems with the cords as they were...I'm apparently not baby-friendly.
(What? Do parents really not know how to keep a cord out of a baby's reach?? Come on. The sales lady and I bonded over this...her rationale, she survived just fine with cords the way they are. Right on lady. Right on.)

Don't do this.

Exhibit B:
I think this is fucking hilarious and I would totally use it. (I also have been trying to figure out a way to attach a swiffer to our cats' tails. What? I hate dusting.)


Baby Mop from Chris Milk on Vimeo.

...another foray into video for Natalie Portman.

I am working on a recap of the first month in the new house. In the meantime, enjoy another entertaining Natalie Portman video. This time she doesn't rap, she just acts with Devendra Banhart. The subtitles make this.

...why I love Fall.

Even though it's about 65 degrees out right now, I'm going to talk about the reasons I love Fall. They can be summed up in three words - foliage, fashion, and food.

Foliage:
Living in the Northeast, I am surrounded by hills of orange, red, and yellow.

Photo courtesy of  VisitPA.com

Fashion:
It gives me an excuse to buy new winter clothes, like this:

Food:

Aside from the Halloween candy, Fall is a time of apple cider, pumpkin pie, and Tastykake Spice Kake Krimpets. Mmm...

So readers, what do you love about Fall?

...what Hannah Montana will look like in 20 years.

Hannah Montana now...

Hannah Montana in 20 years...a.k.a. Rachel Zoe.