"Hallmark doesn't make a 'congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy' card." - Carrie Bradshaw. But it should, it really should.
"A Women's Right to Shoes" might be the best Sex and the City episode ever, if not one of the best TV episodes period. The premise is that Carrie has to leave her shoes at the door of a friend's house - a friend who made the choice to get married and pop a few out. Carrie gladly celebrates these choices - with support and gifts. But when her Manolos go missing - because the friend and her husband don't want dirt & germs tracked into their kid-infested home - the friend doesn't believe in replacing such costly shoes, or supporting Carrie's decision to spend $485 on Manolos instead of a Peg Perego.
After much deliberation and some consternation, Carrie ends up registering for her wedding to...herself. On the registry? One pair of $485 Manolos. Who gets the "announcement" card? The aforementioned friend - who does replace the shoes and even sends along a note of congratulations.
The whole episode got me thinking.
Wedding registries were traditionally to help couples who were leaving their parents' houses for the first time to set up a new home of their own. They needed assistance in their new life together. They needed a damn blender.
These days, so many couples live together before they get married. Or they combine two single households full of stuff - in which case, do you really need to register for a new espresso maker when you already have two? Not that people shouldn't register when they get married, by all means do! But why do I have to wait until then?
I'm not getting married. Not yet anyway. (And what if I become the Old Cat Lady??) But I am setting up a new house. Granted, when I moved into my first post-collegiate apartment, I did buy things like a nice set of pots & pans...so I wouldn't register for those again just to get new ones. I AM registering for things like barware that doesn't come from Ikea, or a multi-bin hamper, since I now have space and my own washing machine. Most things on it are less than $40 and not tied to a specific store - friends and family can buy the items wherever they like. And no, I didn't ask for THREE new shower curtains.
Some people might think it's greedy or ungrateful. Those people don't have to buy anything if they weren't planning on it. I'm perfectly fine with that. The registry is really just to give an idea of what I need/want to people who want to help me celebrate the new house and life event.
But to those who disagree with my choice - I better get one hell of a wedding present when the time comes.
*at MyRegistry.com, in case you were wondering.
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Mostly I don't get all the angst that getting gifts causes in most of us. That doesn't mean I didn't experience some of that angst myself. I think sometimes us women tend to think we're not good enough to get gifts, or we don't want to trouble people or upset people. Sometimes life just has events that you want to celebrate, and why not register for gifts? At the very least it keeps you from getting a thousand wedgewood vases (though you'll inevitably get a few...
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